S03/ E01 A Master Builder

After a long and well deserved break—Roberta, Jeff and Vince are back for season 3 of starchitects: the podcast!

No better way to open up a new season than with a pretentious look at how a self-important and self-absorbed architect (played by sex machine Wallace Shawn) can whisk little girls off to a magical kingdom and drive their loved ones insane while convincing their protégés they are worthless without them.

It’s truly inconceivable that this passion project of Wallace Shawn was captured on a digital chip and helmed by Jonathan Demme who seemed to forget he once made films like Silence of the Lambs, Married to the Mob and Something Wild. All we have to say is…..Ragnar!

S02/ E12 Poltergeist

Our final episode for Season Two is 1982’s summer sleeper hit "Poltergeist." Many of the practical effects of this tale brought back terrifying childhood memories of boy-eating trees, self-opening closet doors, and a base fear of clowns.

starchitect, and “Poltergeist” virgin, Graham Taylor brings his real estate nerdery to the basement to dissect the possibility of re-developing land once housing hundreds, if not thousands, of consecrated, buried bodies… and deciphering how much money Steven was making off his real estate transactions. If the amount is as much as we projected, why does their home look like a room from a 1980's Grey Gardens?

Roberta was able to find the actual house where the movie was filmed and grab an aerial shot as well as a best guess of the basic floor plan used to create and customize the house in the late seventies.

Enjoy!

starchitect: Graham Taylor

 

Tract home floor plan. The "Poltergeist House" was probably customized off this inital plan but the basic element are there, though no indication where the portal to the other-side resides and if you can relocate it to a more user friendly area like the family room....

Tract home floor plan. The "Poltergeist House" was probably customized off this inital plan but the basic element are there, though no indication where the portal to the other-side resides and if you can relocate it to a more user friendly area like the family room....

the house where the movie was filmed. the location is public record; the original owners still own the house as in it has never been sold.

the house where the movie was filmed. the location is public record; the original owners still own the house as in it has never been sold.

S02/ E11 The Cable Guy

In a $20 million dollar coup, the King of Dick and Fart movies, Jim Carrey, broke a salary record for his betrayal of “Chip Douglas,” cable installer and stalker. Matthew Broderick, the center of Chip's attention, lumbers along reacting (?) to Carrey's antics in what appears to be a narcotic haze.

Ben Stiller (aka Derrick Zoolander) directs this comedy, which between you, me, and the lamp post, isn’t that funny nor is it that exciting watch. Anna Winn joins the team in the basement as we try to figure out if Carrey is spooky or trying his damnedest to people please. The team is split; you decide.

starchitect: Anna Winn

S02/ E07 My Architect

PT Barnum is noted as saying, “There’s a sucker born every minute.” Could it be an entire generation of architects were swindled by noted starchitect, Louis Kahn? He sure fit the bill of a con artist: self-assured, self-serving all while supporting secret families, mistresses, and skyrocketing personal and business debt.

Nathaniel Kahn, Louis’s youngest of his illegitimate brood, explores his father’s life through the lens of the architect’s work. But is it all it’s cracked up to be? Are we all just a bunch of suckers trying to hear what that mother f***ing brick is saying?!

starchitect: Joelle Wolinski

S02/ E05 Fools Rush In

Project management. It’s a job definition most people, even those in the profession, can’t quite put their finger on. In her recent shift to project management, Roberta was able to offer some insight as to what Matthew Perry’s character was doing on the job site in “Fools Rush In.” Still, no one in the room could grasp the whole picture of scope of service… well, maybe Matthew Perry as Chandler Bing as Alex Whitman could. Could his job responsibilities BE any more vague?

Synopsis: An episode of “Friends” minus the other five. Selma Hayek is hot.

For the record: Project Managers plan, budget, oversee and document all aspects of a project. Project managers work closely with clients to make sure the scope and direction of each project is on schedule, within the planned budget and executed properly per outlined scope.

starchitect(s): Jeff Wolinski, Vince Galea, Roberta Pennington

S02/ E04 TV A&D: Designing Women

It's a snapshot into a time when women in their late-twenties wanted to look like women in the mid-forties. A time when shoulder pads were worn to intimidate men and weaker women alike. When Delta Burke's weight was as hotly debated as perestroika. While "Designing Women's" pretense was to show women in control, the end result was five twittering morons who were one step away from uttering "fabulous" with the stereotyped hiss of most TV designers.

starchitect Mark Miller joins the team in the basement to talk curtains, pillows, and tassels. No: it is not what any of us went to school for, but your mom thinks so.

starchitect: Mark Miller 

S01/ E09 A Christmas Kiss

You want Christmas with little plot, no back story, no character development, no inflection in the voices of 60% of the actors, and more face glitter than last seen from a cocaine bender from Studio 54’s hay day, you got it. “A Christmas Kiss” is the worst kind of movie for the interior design profession.

We hear the words “design” A LOT, but never are the words “health,” “safety,” or “welfare” uttered, let alone “ergonomics,” “egress,” or “efficiency.” What we are shown is a glitter-encrusted, one-dimensional space case who decorates her crush’s (read boss’s boyfriend) house for Christmas. Ribbon with more ribbon heaped on top of Hallmark-branded ornaments heaped on top of more ribbon. She is NOT an interior designer. She is a decorator and not even the kind of decorator from HGTV. Those decorators would be offended by this woman’s work.

Roberta gives the starchitects team an early Christmas present: 183 Hallmark movie titles in alphabetical order to enjoy over the holiday break.

Happy Everything!

starchitect: Joelle Wolinski

S01/ E08 Beetlejuice

Ever watch a movie so perfect you don’t have much to say? The starchitects team and guest Aly Pierce had that very problem watching the Tim Burton classic, “Beetlejuice.” We set out to observe and critique Otho, the Deetz’s smug interior “designer,” but we were left with awe and inspiration. So many sweet memories of a time when movie making still kicked ass....when Hollywood relied less on CGI and base-y explosions and more on quirky storytelling, stunning practical effects, and acting chewing up more scenery than a Golden Coral smorgasboard on a two-for-one Tuesday.

Still, not many design professionals will live with a family and have enough comfort to wear a black, silk, dragon kimono (?) with seemingly nothing underneath while sipping iced tea on your clients’ porch... please, write to us if you have: info@starchitectspodcast.com

starchitect: Aly Pierce

S01/ E07 Electric Dreams


Richard Branson brought his unique production talents to what is a seemingly banal movie about a young architect learning the ins and outs of becoming computer literate for the sake of his job and personal organization. Any scene becomes active when you can turn major plot points into a music video. Just nailed the girl of your dreams for the first time? Music montage at Alcatraz. Not sure how to say “I love you?” Call on Culture Club to get your emotions smash cut to a head. Are you a computer who has recently become sentient and stuck in a love triangle with your owner and the woman upstairs? Might I suggest a little Philip Oakey & Giorgio Moroder (“Together in Electric Dreams”) to shake your virtual booty into a more upbeat mood?

Life lessons abound in this 1984 classic:

  • Lesson #1: Don’t download your boss’s hard drive over a telephone modem.

  • Lesson #2: Don’t put out an electrical fire in your hard drive with a bottle of champagne.

  • Lesson #3: When your conscious computer takes over all functions of your apartment, unplug it. No, really, you can unplug it despite the warning tag on the cord! UNPLUG IT!!

starchitect: Matt Carter

S01/ E05 Interiors

As an homage to Ingmar Bergman, Woody Allen created the movie “Interiors,” a bleak reflection of a bland upper, upper middle class New York family broken apart by a parents’ divorce. The wife, an interior designer (really, a decorator), slowly (and holy shmoly is it slow) descends into a deep depression as her three daughters cope.  

The starchitects team couldn’t figure out what was more beige: the interiors Eve “designed” or the beigey beigeness of all. the. white. people. Seriously; I don’t how much more white this movie could get apart from bringing in the entire cast of the Lawrence Welk Show and a jar of mayonnaise.

starchitect: Rob Roth

 

Can you get a bingo watching "Interiors?"

Can you get a bingo watching "Interiors?"

S01/ E04 TV A&D: The Brady Bunch

The starchitects team go into the Way-Back Machine to visit the family who made a day wearing bell bottoms a sunshine day, “The Brady Bunch.” Did you remember Mike was an architect? In the episodes we watch ("A Clubhouse is Not a Home," "Mike's Horror-scope," and "Call Me Irresponsible"), Mike's life as an architect at home and at the office are revealed. Pull on your plaid shirt and pour yourself a tall glass of lemonade, we're getting some work done.

Holy shmoly....

starchitect: Joelle Wolinski

Brady Bunch House Floor Plan.jpg

S01/ E03 Bio-Dome

Long ago, in a time called “the Nineties,” the environmentalist movement took hold of a generation. We watched our culture embrace the love of recycling cans, bottles, and office paper. We looked to MTV (back when they played videos) and connected with one man who fully embodied our innocent, doe-eyed GenX souls: Pauly Shore. After such hits as “Encino Man,” “Son-in-Law,” and “In the Army Now,” how could he lose with the enviro-themed “Bio-Dome?” 

The starchitects team learns why this moronic romp was guest Andrew Rosengarten’s favorite movie at age ten. Okay, we already know why: dick and fart humor mixed with shitty hair styles and REALLY baggy shorts.

If you are having trouble stomaching the tone of the movie, the team suggests you turn on Italian dubbing and call the movie "Bee-Oh Doe-May" pretending you're watching a would-be Roberto Benigni venture.

starchitect: Andrew Rosengarten

S01/ E02 Death Wish

“Death Wish” teaches us when wronged to the point of breaking and seeking revenge, start with a sock full of quarters first, then go to firearms. Charles Bronson goes from a wooden work-a-holic architect whose smile looks painted on for the first fifteen minutes of the movie to gun toting vigilante when his wife is beaten to death and daughter is brutally raped. Oh ya, that’s Jeff Goldblum’s butt doing that. Yoiks.

Native Texan Josh Guerra, licensed architect, sits down with Roberta, Vince, and Jeff to decipher the complex back story of Paul Kersey and his use of an apparent Vulcan-like demeanor used in all stressful situations. We’re talking client meetings, his wife’s funeral, and beating a man with a sock full of quarters.

starchitect: Josh Guerra

S01/ E01 Indecent Proposal

In 1993, Billionaire John Gage (Robert Redford) asked a would-be architect (Woody Harrelson) to “have one night” with his wife, played by Demi Moore, for $1,000,000. The pretense of this movie sparked conversations all over America where one significant other asked the other, “Would you take the money?”

The starchitects team was mystified how a thirty year old architect could have an AIA award so young, the affable nature of Robert Redford’s portrayal of a man who has asked a man to pimp his wife “just cos,” and Demi Moore’s purse/ backpack/ vest/ chocolate hoarding apparatus.

Jeff, Roberta, and Vince are joined this episode by Eric Li, a self-proclaimed seven-layer nerd with geek sauce on top, licensed architect, and all around nice guy for this insane ride through PURE RELATIONSHIP FICTION.

starchitect: Eric Li.